spoiled-child

Overcoming Spoiled Child Syndrome: Practical Tips for Raising Considerate Kids

I am well-versed in the topic of spoiled child syndrome due to my own personal experience as a spoiled child. In this post, I will discuss the factors that contributed to my own upbringing as a spoiled child and provide suggestions for how to raise children differently. As an only child, I was able to enjoy the benefits of never having to share or learn to coexist with siblings. However, this also meant that I did not have to adapt to doing things in a way that others preferred.

At school, as I was not very academic, I found great pleasure on the playground telling everyone how things were going to go. Of course, I was in charge of all the decisions and “bossed around” the children who were brave enough to play with me. As they got older, the children on the playground wanted to be with me less and less.

My husband and I had a vision of a wonderful family that we were going to create. I will be honest and say that I often exaggerated how beautiful things would be when they were grown.

Oh, I had such high hopes for our family! I imagined us all getting along like the best of friends, with the brothers bonding and our family thriving. Can’t you just picture it? The sun shining, the birds singing, everything perfect. But alas, I may have had a bit of an overly optimistic view. The truth is, while we’ve had some great moments, we’ve also had our share of challenges. And let’s be honest, blending a family is no easy feat. It’s tough stuff!

How to Know You’re Raising Entitled Children

Some examples of actions that can contribute to spoiled child syndrome include:

  • rewarding a child with a treat for good behavior in a store
  • giving in to a child after initially saying no
  • not requiring the child to work for what they want
  • arguing with a spouse in front of the child or about the child
  • allowing a child to disrespectfully speak back to you at any age

It’s important for parents to remember that they play a significant role in shaping the future leaders of our society. It’s essential to keep the end goal in mind and consistently strive for positive parenting.

Ways to combat selfish behavior in spoiled kids:

Here are some ways to address selfish behavior in spoiled children:

  • Encourage them to engage in physical work or activities that require effort
  • Make them responsible for paying for their share of car insurance when they start driving
  • Establish healthy boundaries and expectations for their behavior
  • Hold them accountable for any damages or broken items, requiring them to pay for repairs or replacements
  • Help them practice sharing with others
  • Encourage them to volunteer and contribute to their community
  • Avoid isolating them from others or depriving them of social interactions
  • Implement consequences for their behavior and consistently enforce them
  • Reflect on your own discipline as a parent and consider any areas where you may need to improve
  • Be consistent in your efforts to teach them to be more considerate of others
  • Try to maintain a positive relationship with your ex-partner, if applicable, in order to provide a united front in your parenting efforts
  • Keep in mind that it takes time and patience to effectively address entitlement in children.

Even if you didn’t train your children well and now have spoiled children who are grown up, don’t worry! Life will punch them in the face. You have to let it happen without bailing them out! I see a LOT of parents of adult children who pay this, do that, let them go back to them (for no good reason).

Helping is one thing, but bailing spoiled kids out will become expected! You have to have a healthy balance! If your adult children are acting like spoiled brats, don’t let them cause drama. Often the only thing that can help them is time and space.

Read also: Navigating the Challenges of Parenting a Strong-Willed Child

How do you redirect a spoiled child?

It is important for parents to know how to handle their children’s behavior when they misbehave or when conflicts arise. One effective strategy is called “redirection,” which involves guiding children towards more desirable behaviors, preventing harm, reducing the need for punishment, and fostering learning and exploration. Redirection can help children learn about appropriate behavior and how to manage their actions.

here are several strategies you can try to redirect a spoiled child:

  1. Set clear boundaries and expectations for their behavior. Make it clear what is and is not acceptable, and consistently enforce consequences when they don’t follow the rules.
  2. Encourage them to engage in physical work or activities that require effort, as this can help them develop a sense of responsibility and accomplishment.
  3. Make them responsible for paying for their share of expenses, such as car insurance or damages they cause.
  4. Help them practice sharing with others and encourage them to volunteer and contribute to their community.
  5. Avoid isolating them or depriving them of social interactions, as this can contribute to entitlement. Instead, encourage them to interact with a diverse group of people and learn from different perspectives.
  6. Reflect on your own discipline as a parent and consider any areas where you may need to improve. Be consistent in your efforts to teach them to be more considerate of others.
  7. Remember that it takes time and patience to address entitlement in children, so be persistent and consistent in your efforts.

How to guide children in conflict

Here are some strategies you can use to guide children through conflicts:

  1. It’s important to address your own emotions before addressing a situation with your child. Try not to approach a situation when you are upset or angry.
  2. Show empathy towards the child’s feelings. Create a safe and supportive environment where they can express their emotions and work through them in a healthy way.
  3. Encourage children to communicate their feelings and needs openly and honestly. Help them find the words to express themselves and listen actively to what they have to say.
  4. Set limits and boundaries with empathy, understanding that children are more likely to accept them when they feel understood.
  5. Model appropriate conflict resolution skills for your children. Children learn by example, so be sure to demonstrate how to resolve conflicts peacefully and respectfully.
  6. Help children explore and brainstorm possible solutions to the conflict. Encourage them to come up with a range of options and consider the pros and cons of each one.
  7. Teach children how to compromise and find a mutually acceptable resolution to the conflict. This may involve each person making some concessions in order to find a solution that works for everyone.
  8. Emphasize the importance of forgiveness and moving forward. Help children understand that conflicts are a normal part of life and that it’s important to move past them and focus on rebuilding relationships.

 

Final thoughts

It wasn’t until I was around 17 years old that I began to understand that I had been raised as a spoiled only child and had developed “only child syndrome.” This realization hit me when I was living on my own, relying on my own income (my ex-partner didn’t work) and was written up and sent home from work due to my disrespectful attitude towards a nurse. As I got older and met people who were selfless, their kindness and unselfishness started to influence me. Eventually, I came to realize that my happiness came from serving and helping others. Life has a way of teaching us important lessons.

If you glean anything from this post, I hope it is to have a goal in mind when raising your kids. They will be whoever you trained them to be… stop spoiled child syndrome that enables entitled, selfish, rotten adults!

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