You could be looking forward to becoming pregnant in the near future and want to obtain an idea of what to expect before you take the leap. Maybe you are expecting a child and have no idea what you’ve gotten yourself into. Or perhaps you’re already have a child and sees only happy, perfect mothers and wonders, “Am I the only one who thinks this is hard? Am I doing something wrong? Why is it so hard for me and easy for everyone else?”
Motherhood is an incredible journey filled with love, joy, and growth. It is a truly special experience that allows women to nurture and care for another human being in a way that is truly unique and special.
However, motherhood is also hard. It requires an incredible amount of time, energy, and effort to raise a child and give them the love and attention they need to thrive. It can be physically and emotionally draining, and there are times when it can feel overwhelming.
If I could sit down with you for a cup of coffee, or if you were part of my local MOPS group and we were talking about real life in one of the discussion groups, I would tell you this.
Yes, motherhood is hard.
Motherhood is the most hardest thing you have ever attempted in your whole life. After the birth of her first child, one of my other friends who is a teacher said it more eloquently. She made a statement that may be interpreted as: “We are independent and capable women. We have professional experience, are capable of teaching a class full of teenagers, and we can get a master’s degree. But sometimes we just can’t get the baby to stop crying.” Yeah, I know the feeling.
Motherhood is hard as hell.
I remember when I was learning math. That was hard.
I remember balancing graduating high school and going to college full time while helping out in the youth group. And that was so hard.
And I remember learning to ski for the first time. I was furious with the ski instructor because he seemed to have little patience with the other people in the group who were from the south, and I couldn’t understand why. I felt like I was never going to make it. But I did. I made a pizza on my skis, a snow plow or whatever you want to call it, and slowly made my way down the hill. And I did it.
But motherhood? You don’t really get it. You never arrive and master it.
You can start working, gain some self-confidence, and learn to focus on what is most important, which is to live in obedience to the Lord and to serve your children. However, despite this, there may be occasions when you will feel exhausted and worn out. Children are in a constant state of development, which requires you to be flexible. The stages of motherhood cycle through several phases, and we are required to adapt to the shifting tides, peaks, and valleys.
And then there are the heartbreaks of motherhood
Disobedience on the part of the children. The more time I spend with them, the more my patience wanes. Will they be like this for a while or forever? I always think that we mothers of young children struggle, but then I see my older friends and they struggle with other things. Their children can make their own choices, and maybe those choices are not exactly how the mother would like them to be. The only thing left for them to do is pray. These are difficult things.
There are other scary situations, such as taking your infant child to the operating room without knowing if he will emerge from the procedure unharmed, much less if he will ever be “normal” — whatever that term may mean. I was reminded of the time when an anesthesiologist asked me to sign a permission form for my infant son to undergo lung surgery. She warned me in a dramatic tone, “There is a chance that your kid will pass away during the operation.” I, too, shed some tears, but there was nothing more I could do. There was a possibility that the surgery would not go well, and he might not have lived through it; but, without him there was no hope. And now everything is back to normal with him, but I had no idea that it would end like this.
Parenting is full of blind curves.
Parenting is full of blind curves, and it is a journey that is full of twists and turns that can take us by surprise. It is a role that requires constant adaptation and flexibility, as our children grow and change at an incredible pace.
One moment, we may feel like we have everything under control and are confident in our parenting skills. But the next moment, a new challenge or obstacle may arise that we have never faced before, and we are forced to navigate uncharted territory.
This is what makes parenting so challenging, but also so rewarding. It is a journey that requires us to be constantly learning, growing, and evolving as parents, and it is a journey that helps us to become the best versions of ourselves.
So embrace the blind curves, and know that you are not alone on this journey. Every parent has faced their own set of challenges, and it is through these challenges that we learn, grow, and become stronger as parents.
Parenting means making tough decisions on all the minutiae
Before I had children, I believed that everything was dry and black and white, similar to an equation that needed to be balanced in chemistry or an algebraic problem. If you enter x, then you will receive y as a result. If you start your child on solid foods at that age and continue to nurse them until they reach that age, you will have healthy children who are immune to food allergies. Too bad this isn’t how things really are. Or at the very least, my life was not like that.
Also, modern moms are bombarded with information, and it is up to us to figure out what to deal with all of this data. Suddenly, the sort of container in which you store your food and the toothpaste that you give your children are being scrutinized. All it takes is a challenge to make healthy meals without Pinterest telling you it also has to be cute and Instagram-worthy. Let’s not even bring up the topic of mommy wars, immunizations, or any of the other exciting topics like that. We are free to make such choices, but if we fail to meet our friends’ expectations of what it means to be a good mom, we will have to deal with the fallout in our social circles. I have had more than enough of the mommy wars.
Yes, motherhood is hard. When my child wakes up crying at five in the morning, I grumble at the prospect of having to feed him again since I was up watching the clock all night long. A toddler, on the other hand, will get up around 7:30 in the morning in order to be ready for breakfast and playtime.
Motherhood is so hard. But it’s the best thing I’ve ever done.
Despite the challenges, motherhood is an incredibly rewarding experience. Seeing your child grow and develop into their own person is a truly special and heartwarming experience. And the love that mothers feel for their children is unlike any other love in the world – it is a love that is fierce, protective, and unconditional.
It helps me grow, it presents me with difficulties, and it forces me to become better person. The amount of “trash” in my life is decreasing as the number of my children increases. The things that don’t honor God must be thrown away or I won’t survive this crazy hard life, and that’s exactly what I want.
Being a mother gives us the ability to understand things from our children’s perspectives, to pass on our knowledge to them and to care for their tender, small hearts. So while motherhood is hard, it is also beautiful and full of joy. It is a journey that every mother should embrace and cherish, for it is truly one of the greatest gifts in life.
Don’t miss it
Mom. Don’t let the hard things overshadow the joy. Often there are only about thirty seconds in between.
Motherhood is filled with fun, laughter and that smell. The baby smell they have.
The two-year-old wears a stethoscope on her head and claims it’s a hat. The three year old who wraps his pudgy arms around my neck and says “I love you, Mommy”. The five-year-old who announces that she looks forward to one day becoming a mother. I can’t wait either, little girl, but let’s slow down a bit. I’m going to enjoy you – your games, your laughter, your flair for drama and your love of all things pink and sparkly.
I’m sure she thinks motherhood is easy. I won’t tell her differently if you won’t.
What about you? Is motherhood easy or hard for you?