Bloody Mary Mussels | Almost Getting It Together

My dad could not stop talking about making mussels and more so, these Bloody Mary mussels he had at some brewery near Slippery Rock. On Valentine’s Day I was driving home from work, contemplating what I was going to eat for lunch because of course that was dependent on what I was eating for dinner, and called my dad to suggest we make mussels for dinner and be single together. So that’s what we did.

I had to think about what all types of things go into Bloody Marys to think about what should go into these little guys. My dad swears by Clamato juice but since they were already fishy (I think?) I decided to just use tomato juice. My dad also suggested Worchester sauce and horseradish because I totally would have forgotten about those. I was thinking garlic, Tabasco, celery, sea salt – all of the delicious accompaniments.

A quick Tabasco story because I know you all really want to hear it. When I was in Hong Kong and seriously jonesing for Mexican food, I would throw down approximately $30 USD for a burrito. Yeah, Hong Kong is expensive, but once you’re outside the US, Mexican food is few and far between. I didn’t have a kitchen. I had to go to extreme measures.

Anyway, back to the Tabasco. So we were at whatever the Hong Kong crappy equivalent of Mad Mex was (I seriously think it was Mad Mexican because a waiter gave me a sombrero one night when I was drunk and it said Mad Mexican or something on it. See photo below for reference) and we ordered margs (duh) and they were INSANELY sweet. Like way to sweet. So we poured Tabasco in them because what else are you going to do whenever you need a buzz to forget about the amount of money you’re paying for a burrito.

Said stolen somber – it says “Mexican with Attitude”

So these mussels were gone in like 5 minutes. They were delicious and super easy. Mussels seem scary to cook but they aren’t. Unless you’re allergic to shellfish and then they are scary because you’ll die.

Bloody Mary Mussels

Mussels – insanely easy to cook.

Parsley food styling by Dad.

What you’ll need:
1 lb mussels, debearded and rinsed in cold water
1 lemon, juiced
1 2/3 cups tomato juice (PURE tomato juice, not crap from concentrate with sugar added or something)
2/3 cup chopped celery
1/3 cup chopped parsley (I used flat leaf)
3 tbsp fresh horseradish
2 tbsp crushed garlic
2 tbsp worchester sauce
2 tbsp hot sauce (Tabasco but it has added sugar so I used Pepito – we had a Choloua incident walking in the door so I wasn’t about to use the last of my precious Choloua)
1 tbsp olive oil
1 tsp celery salt (or whatever salt you have, but try for celery salt)

What to do:
Mix everything but mussels, garlic and olive oil together and set aside.
Heat olive oil in a Dutch oven (or large sauté pan – anything large enough so the mussels can all be beside each other without being on top of each other) over medium high heat.
Add in garlic and stir until fragrant, about one minute.
Add mussels to pan. Put lid on top and allow to cook for 3-4 minutes.
Check mussels after 3-4 minutes. If they are mostly closed, continue cooking for another 3-4 minutes, checking every minute to see if they are opened.
Once they are all (or mostly) opened, add in sauce and stir well. Re-cover pan and allow to cook for another 1-2 minutes.
MUSSELS ARE DONE! See, that wasn’t too scary, right? Enjoy your mussels as long as they are open. If they’re closed don’t eat them you’ll die.

These were devoured in less than 5 minutes.

Chat with me:
Is my writing on point today or what? And by point I mean ADD. Also – what is the most money you would ever pay for a burrito?

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