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4 Reasons Why You Shouldn’t Compare Yourself To Other Mothers

I am always striving to do more, fit more into each day,be productive and increase the amount of work that I get done. Most of the time, I think about how I can be more productive in ways that are good and easy to handle. Whenever I’m not doing anything else, I usually read a self-help book on productivity or time management. And I never stop feeling like I should be attempting to enhance either my daily routine or my list of things to do. I have found that having a timetable and a realistic to-do list are quite necessary for me, especially now that I have two kids.

I guess it’s not surprising that I compare my housekeeping and homemaking to other moms success or failures. I need something to measure myself by…right?

WRONG! I’m just starting to realise that my success at homemaking is an individual thing and won’t look like anyone else’s. Why? My life is different. I’ve picked different ways to get things done in my everyday life. My ideas about how to live are also different. Because of how I do my jobs and tasks, my life can’t be compared to that of anyone else.

Here are top four reasons you shouldn’t compare yourself to other moms.

1. My season of life determines how my day goes.

Right now, I have a baby and a toddler. I stay at home with my kids. I run a blog. My feels pretty crazy right now. I’m really just trying to keep my head above water. I can barely keep up with making meals, doing laundry, cleaning, and taking care of my kids, and even that is questionable.

I could never compare my success to that of a mother of teenagers. She is at a very different point in her life and has very different responsibilities, errands, and tasks. If I put myself up against her, it would be like putting apples up against monster trucks. Again, there are too many different factors to make it easy to compare.

At this point in my life, I’m learning more about how to keep our family healthy. It’s the first time I’ve had kids and had to decide about their health. It’s the first time I’ve heard about so many family health issues all at once. It has taken a lot of time for me and Hubby to learn about things like vaccines, eating certain dangerous foods, raw dairy and organic foods, cloth diapering, circumcision, etc. (And this has been a work in progress for the last two years!)

2. It makes a big difference how I choose to do things.

There are things that every mother and person who stays at home must do. Every mother has to do things like wash dishes, change diapers, make meals, and fold clothes. But how we do these things makes a big difference in how much “free” time we end up with.

I make our bread from scratch, for example. I really mean from scratch! I start by grinding wheat berries into flour. Next, I let the flour soak for 24 hours. It takes a lot of work. I do it because I think it’s good for my health. It would be a lot easier to just buy organic bread at the store. But the way I’ve chosen to get bread for my family means I’ll have to spend more time and work on it than I would have otherwise.

But I don’t only make bread from scratch. This is how I make a lot of my food supplies. And it all takes time!

I also diaper my babies with cloth. That also means that taking care of the diapers, like washing and folding them, takes more time and work. But I think it’s worth it because it’s good for your health and saves you money. And this leads me to my next point…

3. My philosophy affects how I choose to accomplish tasks.

Homemaking is more than just completing tasks during the day. But a lot of homemaking is just that. Make breakfast, lunch and dinner. Wash clothes and fold them. Change dirty diapers. Clean the bathrooms. Sweep and mop the floors. The list goes on.

How I complete these tasks determines the speed and accuracy with which they get done. Making my own bread and using cloth diapers are both considered the “hard way”. It would be way easier to buy bread from the store and use disposable diapers! But the reason I choose to do it the “hard way” is because of my beliefs and philosophy of that particular topic.

In the name of health Hubby and I have decided to do lots of things the hard way: cloth diaper, make our own food supplies (like bread), buy only organic foods, use reusable products in our home (cloth napkins, cloth pads, etc). Its because of our philosophy that how we accomplish everyday tasks is more involved and time demanding.

4. My personality affects my day.

I need time to myself in order to get through the day. I need to go out with a friend every once in a while. I enjoy cooking and baking. I like to hold my baby close. I’d rather stay at home than go somewhere new. All of these things about me affect my day in a direct way. Every mother has a different personality. Because of this, we can’t compare our successes and failures. Too many things could happen. Not only does a mother’s personality make her day different from that of other mothers, but so do her children’s personalities.

I’m lucky that my first child is a “good” one. He can play by himself, so I don’t have to keep him busy all day. He is easy to get along with and does well with change. He does what I say, so I don’t have to spend much time correcting him. He doesn’t need a lot of my time, though. Even so, I still spend time with him. It just means that I can get more done in a day than a mom with a “troublesome” child.

Do you find that you are comparing yourself to other mothers?

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